Still Water by Rebecca Pert

Author:Rebecca Pert [Pert, Rebecca]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: HarperCollins Publishers
Published: 2022-04-12T12:00:00+00:00

23 October 1979

Bobby came home yesterday.

I spent all weekend cleaning. Scrubbing and mopping and dusting, changing the sheets on the bed. I did a food shop too, stocked the cupboards. I gave myself a scrub as well. Put mousse and Elnett in my hair and mascara on my eyelashes for the first time in days.

He was happy to see me, though he looked exhausted. Had the shadow of a beard and smelt like saltwater and engine oil. He picked Hannah up, covered her face in kisses, hugged me tightly. I clung to him. Solid, safe Bobby. Here to save me.

How have you been? he said.

Oh, fine, I said.

After we went to bed I woke up to him shaking me, gently.

What’s the matter? I said.

Nothing. Just want to show you something. Come on, this way. Come with me.

He led me into the kitchen and said, put your wellies on. We’re just nipping out for a sec. And he handed me a coat, and I put it on, and he led me out of the door into the cold night air.

Look, he said, pointing up. Look at that.

I stared. In the sky, rippling across the blackness, were veils of light – a phosphorescent green, but higher up, a deep fuchsia pink, a teal blue. Huge, magnificent curtains of it, ruffling, shifting, stretching up into the darkness. Bathing the whole landscape in this eerie glow.

Bobby put his arm around my shoulders. The Mirrie Dancers, he said. Aren’t they beautiful?

Yeah, I said.

It’s the best I’ve ever seen it. Woke me up, the light.

We stood there, together, watching, and it was stunning, but after a bit I was starting to get pretty cold, and wanted to get back in bed, and I turned to say as much to Bobby – and then I noticed he was wiping tears from his eyes.

What’s wrong? I said.

He sniffed and said nothing, my darling. Nothing’s wrong, everything is perfect – I’m just overwhelmed, I’m just – it’s so beautiful, and I’m so lucky, to see this, with you by my side, and our daughter sleeping in the bed just there … I’m just so happy, he said. I’m so happy. Are you happy, too?

Yes, I said. Yes, love. Hoping he wouldn’t hear the lie in my voice.

And I leaned my head on his shoulder, and he kissed my hair, held me tight. And we watched the aurora for another ten minutes or so, until my teeth started chattering, and then we went back inside, and then Bobby made love to me, with the green glow bathing us through the skylight. I looked at the patch of night sky and felt very distant. Cold and far away.

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